It’s not procrastination, it’s fear of rejection

Boldheart founder Fabienne Fredrickson

Have you ever been stopped in your tracks because of procrastination and didn’t know where it was coming from? This happened a few times with some of my private clients recently, and we noticed it wasn’t really procrastination – it was a fear of some sort that was holding them back.
 
Perhaps you’ve experienced it too, sweet friend? 
 
The fear of reaching out to people, 
fear of failure, 
fear of success, 
fear of not doing something right, 
and the kicker – fear of REJECTION? 

 
Problem is, it holds you back from achieving your dreams, and that’s got to stop.
 
So, understanding that there’s some sort of fear stopping you, what do you do about it? 
 
I’ve put together an exercise you can do to eliminate limiting beliefs and fears that hold you back from taking action and showing up in a bigger way.
 
Here’s what you do:

  1. Establish the root fear or limiting belief that’s holding you back, such as fear of success, fear of failure, fear of what others think and fear of rejection. Let’s work with fear of rejection because it’s such a common one.
  2. Think back to your childhood. What is the earliest memory you have of being rejected? Write it down. (I’m serious, don’t just read this, write it down. That’s how you get results.) If you get stuck, then go back to what the original thought that popped up when you started reading this. That’s usually the big one that needs to be addressed first, even if you don’t think it is.
  3. Write down ALL the events in life in which you can remember feeling rejected, such as in your family, at school, dating, hobbies, sports and work.
  4. Now, think about what MEANING you created about yourself as a result of each of those incidents. (“I’m not good enough,” “I’m dumb,” “When I reach out, I get rejected,” “I’m not cut out to make a lot of money,” etc.) Really spend some time on this, because that’s where the healing begins. Be a hard grader.
  5. Then, make a separate list of how these MEANINGS you created have stopped you in life. Did you stop reaching out? Did you stop taking chances? Did you retreat into a hole? Did you hold back from taking advantage of opportunities that could have advanced you? Write them all down.
  6. Now, go back to the list of meanings you created and ask yourself, “What if what I THINK happened wasn’t actually the case?” Here’s what I mean: If you were rejected by your “crush” in high school after telling this person you liked him, imagine other scenarios other than “I’m unattractive” or “I’m not lovable.” Could they have secretly been dating someone else? Could they have been shy and not known what to say? Could they even have been interested in someone of a different gender? Write it ALL down.
  7. Now, look at this list and pick one, because I’ll guarantee you, what you THINK happened is probably not what happened. This is a list of ALTERNATIVE reasons why they wouldn’t have done the ‘right’ thing by you, rather than thinking you were unattractive or unlovable. Each person has their own writing on the wall and even if they said or did something unacceptable, we don’t REALLY know what that reason was (we might never know what was going on for them at that time).
  8. Reevaluate the limiting belief or your fear. Is it REALLY true that you were rejected? Could there have been another reason for what happened? Is it really WORTH your still being affected by this and having lost out on opportunities your whole life because of what one (dumb) person said or did?
  9. Decide to select the ALTERNATIVE reason for what happened and move past the fear. You deserve to not be stuck in your tracks anymore. You deserve to be free from what others said or did to you in the past. You deserve to be successful and that’s what I want for you.
  10. If you can’t seem to let the fear go, then just FEEL the fear, and do what it takes anyway. You’ve heard the saying: “Successful people feel the fear too and they do what it takes anyway.” When I feel myself getting stopped, I often use the process above, and then I just push through and get things done. Funny thing is, it’s never as bad as what I had feared. Best of all, every time you push through a fear that stops you, you exercise that muscle. After a while, limiting fears or beliefs don’t have a chance against you.

Your Turn

Take an hour (or even an afternoon) for this exercise, to work through what’s stopping you. It can seem scary at first, but I assure you, when you actually do it, it becomes easy. And it feels so FREEING at the end.

You’ll notice that you will start DOING more than before, taking advantage of opportunities, and getting better results. That immediately equals more paying clients, more results, and in my experience, financial freedom and being able to live the life you really want. I once read that the view from the other side of fear is SUCCESS.

Are you game?

If you’re ready to move past your fears to the next level in your business, we’d love to help. Reach out to talk to one of our expert strategy coaches and we’ll get started on your next steps right away.

You’ve waited long enough to give yourself the gifts that are waiting for you. Don’t let your fears keep you stuck.

We’re here for you. Go ahead and book that free call.

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