Fabienne Fredrickson

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How to Have Your Partner or Spouse Believe in You

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My topic for today is about something that most people who teach marketing and client attraction don’t ever speak about. It is about getting your spouse on board to believe in you. I work with hundreds and hundreds of entrepreneurs. Most of them are women in my The Leveraged Business Winners Academy. Invariably throughout the course of the year or just as someone is wanting to work with me they’ll express, “I really want to do this, but I wonder if my husband or my spouse or my partner will let me.”

I always find that fascinating—the  “let me” part. Now, for you it could be your family or business partner who isn’t “letting you”. I’m always fascinated by that and say, “Well, this is your business. Why are you letting other people make decisions?” But, I also see it from the spouse’s point of view because often entrepreneurs are married to non-entrepreneurs and I don’t just mean that “they have a job and you have a business.”
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There’s more to it because it’s also in the wiring. As an entrepreneur you are somebody who begins things. Entrepreneur comes from the French word entreprendre, which means to start things, to begin something brand new. You’re an entrepreneur, while others are follow-through people, who like to do things in a different way. Usually, the entrepreneur is wired in a different way than their spouse. There are plenty of assessment tests that show that.

In a relationship, sometimes the spouse is the person who is more calculated and less of a risk taker. So anything that you do in your business is looked at as new and might be judged by your partner as, “Oh, no.  Here she/he goes again, starting something new. Why can’t you do something safe?”  Well, we as entrepreneurs are natural risk takers. It could be calculated risks, but we’re still taking risks. It’s all in the wiring.

If you want to get your partner or spouse to believe in you, there are a few things that I recommend:

1. Involve them in your learning. If you are learning how to get more clients, involve your spouse or your partner in the learning with you. If you’re learning from me, watch these videos together. Again, if you’re learning from me and if you’ve invested in one of my programs then go through the program with them. If a live meeting or if there’s a live component, it’s especially important that you do whatever you can to involve your spouse.

Many years ago I would say to my husband, Derek, “I don’t understand why you don’t pay attention? You don’t really put a lot of effort into finding out more about my business.” He was supportive in all of the right ways. He just didn’t really have any interest. I’d say, “I need you to know about my business.” His response was, “I don’t feel like I need to tell you about fixed income technology and what I do at work at the end of each day.” I always responded that it’s different because when it’s your own business it’s like a part of you. It’s like a limb or a child.

But, the minute that I involved Derek in the learning by taking him to a marketing seminar and then a mindset seminar he became very, very involved.

2. Show your spouse or partner how hard you are working at implementing what you’re learning. Your partner probably wonders if this is just another thing that you’re into, “Oh, here you go again.”  So, if you attend a seminar, make sure that you implement everything and share how you’re doing this with them.

If you are learning from a mentor or coach like my clients work with me, show your partner how much you’ve implemented because obviously you don’t get results from things you don’t implement.  They want to see the return on investment, so show them that!  Show them that the proof is in the pudding. Show them the money because if they see that they can be more supportive of you.

3. Reassure them. They might not be supportive because they feel threatened a little bit. Maybe they’re threatened that you have this great business and you’re getting such satisfaction and meaning and fulfillment out of it.  They could also feel threatened that you will move on.  Once you get famous in your business there may be this subconscious, underlying thought that says, “Oh, what if he or she gets so successful that they’ll leave me behind.” I know this is something that most people don’t talk about, but we see it on a daily basis and I’ve experienced it myself.

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If you do all of these things—you reassure your partner that you’re staying there and you’re getting great results and you’re getting a return on investment and you involve them, you will begin as I did, to get above and beyond the support that you’ve been getting so far in your business. Try it.  It really works.

We’ve done this with hundreds of clients at this point.  Sometimes the spouse or the partner quits their job like mine did and comes full time into the business.  This may not be what you’re looking for, but sometimes it happens too. Good luck!

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