I’m thrilled to welcome back one of our standout students of The Client Attraction Business School™, Love and Passion Coach Stacey Martino. Enjoy Stacey’s words of wisdom and please post your comments and questions below. ~ Fabienne. Connect with Stacey on Facebook here.
As a love and passion expert, who primarily serves entrepreneurs and coaches, I get asked the following question a lot. “Stacey, I want to grow my business, but my partner isn’t on board! What can I do to get him/her to support me in my business?”
My answer is always the same, “Without coaching or training, no human on earth will 100% support something they are also competing with for your time, attention and priority.”
No one will 100% support something they are also competing with for your time, attention and priority. (Click here to tweet this.)
So here’s my advice; it starts with you. At Love and Passion Coach, I empower people to transform their intimate relationships without their partner needing to participate. The same can be done when it comes to getting your partner’s support with you business. It begins with a raw and vulnerable conversation that you have not been willing to have yet.
It goes something like this…
“You are the most important thing in my world, not my business, not this program (or whatever you want to do), not my parents, not even the kids; only you. Everything begins and ends with you. And whatever you want, is what I want. Your dreams are my dreams too. And I’m scared and I need you. Right now this is what I really need (to grow my business) and I want to talk to you about it. But I absolutely want you to know that no matter what, it will never change the fact that you come first for me, always. My intention is that no matter what we decide to do together, you are my number one. And whatever we decide to do together, that’s what I will do, because you are first for me!”
When you speak these words from your heart and really mean them and when your partner truly feels what you’re saying, it shifts everything. You may think it could take months for them to feel that but it can actually happen in a moment!
When you truly come from this space, your partner will no longer feel that they are COMPETING with your business for your time, attention and priority. That’s when they will give you the support you desire.
Once you experience your partner’s support in your business, you will see that the greatest gift of having their support is NOT actually that you get to DO whatever it is that you want to DO in your business. The greatest gift of your partner’s support in your business, is that you get to lean on them, confide in them, celebrate with them, cry to them, collaborate with them and experience your business with them!
The purpose of relationships is to magnify the human experience and live as the best version of yourself. If you have not been able to SHARE your business with your partner, not only have you been taking everything on yourself, which is exhausting, but you are missing out on sharing the experience of your business with the most important person in your life!
You are an entrepreneur. Your business is not exactly “separate” from you. If you have been operating your business separately from your partner, you are creating separation between the two of you that is too risky…for both your relationship and your business!
I’m not saying that your partner has to work IN your business with you. You can include your partner in your business simply by sharing it with them authentically.
You may not have been willing to “share” your business with them before because you FELT their resistance, so you kept your business to yourself. But their resistance isn’t that they don’t CARE or aren’t interested. Their resistance is that they feel they are lower on your list than your business, so they don’t want “that business” getting any more attention.
Until you can proudly say, with authenticity, integrity and love, that your partner IS your number one, then you cannot expect your partner’s 100% support for your business.
I know you love your partner. Operationally, where has your partner been on your list? Day to day, how are you living? Are you living that your partner is number one? Or is it the kids? Or your business? Or your folks? If I asked your partner right now, where would THEY say they fall on your list? Number one? Number two? Number 5?
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s very rare to organically live putting your partner first. No one ever taught us to do that. But until your partner feels that they are number one, you will not get the support you want for your business, and your business can only grow so much without your partner’s support! So you must start here!
Make your partner your number one and make sure they feel it! Sometimes this can be easier said than done. If this is a struggle for you, please watch our free video series for the tools and strategies that you need to quickly and easily create this in your intimate relationship.
Once you transform your intimate relationship so that you are putting your partner first and authentically sharing your business with them… THEN your business will truly have NO LIMITS! And as a nice side bonus, you will find that the PASSION comes back to your relationship in a BIG way!!!
Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges that intimate relationship brings. Through targeted, strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation™, Relationship Rescue™ and Relationship Transition™ programs, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime.
Stacey firmly believes that it absolutely does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Clients have praised Stacey for helping them to see massive results in record time. Formerly known as “The Ice Princess”, Stacey is intimately aware of what it takes to transform oneself to be ready to both give and receive love and passion like you have never experienced before.
Watch Stacey’s Free Valentine’s Day Video Series, “How to Reignite Your Passion” here.
Such an important topic Stacey. Thank you for bringing it to the forefront. It’s a topic I think many entrepreneurs, especially women are fearful of talking about. They’re afraid to broach the subject.
So true Kelly! Unfortunately, this is one topic where avoiding it increases the separation and makes it more difficult for you to get the support you so badly desire! As you already know, this is one of those times where you have to harness your courage, and walk right into that conversation! Very often, you will find that your partner may surprise you!!
I love your comment that the purpose of relationships is to magnify the human experience and live as the best version of yourself. For me this translates into the understanding that prioritizing my relationship with my husband supports me in expressing the best possible version of me, which in turn helps my business and life thrive! Thank you for your wonderful insights!
Wonderful take away Kelley!!! So true!!! Love it sweetie!
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