I want to talk to you today about how to remove self-doubt, especially when faced with the fear of criticism.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m working on big new projects, I often have this huge vision of what I want to create. It’s exciting, it’s bold, and it lights me up. But then, like clockwork, fear creeps in—fear of criticism.
“What will they say? Am I being too ambitious? Am I having illusions of grandeur? What if this flops? What if the trolls come out on the internet and tear me apart? What if this just doesn’t work out, I feel like a failure?”
And I know, it’s easy to look at people who are somewhat successful and say, oh, they have no fear of criticism. But the truth is, I don’t know a single person—no matter how successful—who doesn’t experience this fear. We all do. It’s normal, and it’s especially present when we’re pushing toward something bigger.
I want to share a process with you that has helped me remove self-doubt, so I can keep moving forward with my big ideas. And I hope you’ll try it, and it’ll do the same for you.
Watch this video to learn more about what I mean:
Flipping Our Mindset on Online Criticism
The first way that I think about it is I remind myself that everyone has access to the internet.
The world today is vastly different from how it was just a few decades ago. Back then, most of us lived in small, close-knit communities where everyone generally shared the same beliefs, mindsets, and ways of living. We didn’t have much exposure to people from different places with different opinions or lifestyles—especially not at the tap of a few buttons on a smartphone.
But now, thanks to the internet and social media, we’re all connected in ways we never could have imagined. People from every corner of the world, with completely different cultures, values, and perspectives, have access to everything we share.
So, criticism is somewhat inevitable. But that doesn’t have to scare you away from going after what you want.
Criticism Isn’t About You
The thing is, no matter how well you plan or execute your vision, there will always be people who disagree with you, misunderstand your intentions, and judge your work through the lens of their own experiences and values. And that’s okay.
As Brené Brown says in her famous Man in the Arena speech (if you haven’t seen it, please watch it here): the only people who don’t get criticized are the ones who aren’t doing anything at all.
It’s time to expect the criticism. Understanding that somebody from a totally different culture in a totally different world will look at what you have to say and disagree with it, perhaps even vehemently.
One of the most freeing realizations I’ve had, and that I teach our members at Boldheart, is that criticism is rarely about you. Everyone sees the world through their own set of beliefs, their own values, their own life experiences.
When someone criticizes you, they’re really just filtering your work through their len, and that lens is likely very different from yours. They will communicate that to you and at the same time, it doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is wrong.
Remove Self-Doubt: Go For It
I want you to understand that when somebody is going to criticize you (online or in real life), there’s nothing you can do, and it doesn’t actually have to do anything with you.
You have the power to decide whether or not you will let those opinions hold you back. For me, I choose to be kind. If someone shares their criticism, I respond by saying, “Thank you for sharing your opinion. I may disagree, but I appreciate your time.”
And then, I move on. I don’t let it stop me from pursuing my vision.
But understand that criticism can’t stop you from doing the thing that you know in your heart you want to do.
I’m sure you feel similarly to me when I say that I don’t want to get to the end of my life and think, “I wish I had gone for that, but I let a few internet trolls hold me back.” That would be me giving away my power. You are here to do bigger things, and the world needs what you have to offer.
So all of that to say… go for it anyway.
Fear of criticism is normal, but it doesn’t have to control you. You can make the choice to feel free from it, and boldly show up as yourself anyway. Even if you’re scared, even if there are naysayers. You can decide that your projects and the value you bring to your clients every day are worth more than a few negative comments. After all, your big, new ideas and projects are what help you differentiate your business and find your ideal clients.
Whatever big message you have on your heart, I encourage you to take action on it. Don’t let fear of criticism hold you back. Expect that criticism will come—it’s part of the process—but choose to move forward anyway.
Every time I take on something new, whether it’s launching a big project or sharing a bold idea, I remind myself: This fear is normal, but I’m going to do it anyway.
And that’s my message to you today: Go for it anyway. Your dreams are worth it.
