I have a question for you in today’s new video: Do you ever feel like a fraud or an imposter?
Have you ever heard of the term, “imposter syndrome”?
It’s when something good happens to you and you have this constant feeling of not deserving the good things that are happening. Or you feel that you’re not good enough to be rewarded with what’s been brought your way.
I just want you to know this happens to so many people I talk to.
When good things come, they either feel like it’s a fluke or the other shoe is going to drop and they’re waiting for it to drop…or they think, “Oh no, I’m not good enough to get this.”
Maybe you’ve felt this?
Here’s what you do about it.
Number one: realize that you are not supposed to be good at everything.
A lot of people think, “Oh, well I don’t deserve it because I’m not big yet,” or “I don’t know enough,” or “I’m not an expert, so I don’t deserve these results.”
You don’t need to know everything.
You don’t need to be good at everything.
You get to not be good at everything under the sun.
If you feel bad about not being good at something, just reframe the situation and realize that you’re going to get better as you go along, but this is what you know now – and just really embrace that.
Number two: allow yourself to be honest about the things you’re 1) good at and 2) the things you’re not good at.
I do this with clients, my family and friends. Even on social media. Sometimes on a Q&A call with some of our members, somebody asks me a question that I don’t know how to answer (it’s rare, but it happens when i just don’t have experience with that obscure thing).
Instead of trying to make it look like I know everything, I’ll just say, “You know, I don’t actually have any experience with that. Perhaps somebody else on the call will.”
People really appreciate that I don’t try to make stuff up. And every time, it happens that somebody else does have some experience to share. Either way, people will appreciate that you’re transparent about just not being an expert in a particular area of expertise. They really honor you for just calling it what it is.
In the beginning of my career when I was first a business coach, I would say, “Listen I’m just starting this process. I’m in the trenches with you. I may be a few steps ahead of you, but we’re doing this together and as soon as I learn something, I give it to you.”
So just be transparent about not knowing everything.
Number three: when something good does happen to you, please don’t say, “Oh, you know, it was just a fluke.” Instead, really celebrate the thing that you just made happen.
The thing that you achieved, the money that’s come your way, the clients…any good thing that comes to you, celebrate it. Adopt this self-image of, “I do deserve this, I’m a good person, I work hard.”
See it as your #newnormal.
This is what we do in our business and in our family too, we call it “hashtag new normal”.
When a member of Boldheart Business gets to 10K a month for the first time, and she wonders if she can do it again the next month, the whole community rushes in to remind her by saying “New normal!”
And we celebrate with her, big time, if it’s a 10K month or someone’s first $100,000 launch…we’re all like, “New normal!”
It might feel silly, but when you keep telling your mind, your mindset, your subconscious…when you create new neural pathways in the brain that this is not abnormal, “This is just my new normal, it’s not necessarily something that’s happened only once, it’s my new normal.”
Doing these three things is the way to get over that fraud factor – the imposter syndrome – and just know that it’s normal.
It’s your new normal.
You deserve it. xo
