I was having coffee the other day with a new friend I met in Paris, and in trying to get to know him better, I asked him what he did for a living. With a sideways glance and a twisted smile, he told me that he’d been out of a job since October.
Ouch. (He’s single, 50 years old and there’s no other income source currently.)
Compassionately, I asked what was the matter, what he believed was the cause of this.
“It’s the same thing every time, Fabienne. I go on several job interviews with each company and they either don’t call me back or they offer me a position with a salary that’s half what I used to make in my last job! I can’t accept that.”
I asked more questions…trying to understand what this (clearly super-smart and organized) person was experiencing. Tell me more, I said.
“Companies in my field just aren’t hiring my kind of knowledge anymore. They want a new level of expertise that I don’t have. So, I’m going to keep going on interviews hoping some company will need me in the future.”
The energy of “hoping” felt a little bit like “victim” to me.
And so I asked a deeper question: “If you were to be really bold and hustled a bit, taking a different route and doing something that would guarantee that you got the job, at your last salary or even more, what would you need to do?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” he replied, “I’d need to be well versed in digital marketing. That’s what all the companies I’m interviewing at want.”
So, I said, “What would happen if you got really good at digital marketing in (all) your free time? Would you show up more self-assured for the job interviews? Would you become more of an asset to the person on the other side of the desk? Would you be more valuable and confident? Would you get the job?”
There was a glint in his eyes. He smiled broadly, because, he realized that, yes, if he did that, he would indeed get the job.
He also realized that if you wanted to create different results in your life, you have to take an action you’ve never taken before, beyond your comfort zone, so that you can create different results.
He got it and practically skipped out of the cafe to start Googling “how to master digital marketing” and find some classes to immerse himself in (with all his free time). He was excited!
All it took was a shift in belief that you are NOT a victim of your outside circumstances, but rather, you control your results by being willing to boldly do things you’ve never done before.
Same (but different) conversation I had with a member of Boldheart Business the other day. She said…
“My business grew and grew by leaps and bounds, but recently, it’s at a plateau. I am my father’s primary care provider and he has ailing health. None of my siblings are helping and it’s affecting my focus, my business and my income! I’m stuck and I don’t see a way out.”
I asked, “What if you weren’t here to take care of him? Who would?”
And then, after talking it out with me a bit, she realized that there were indeed many different options available to her, but that she hadn’t been bold enough to request help, feeling bad/guilty about asking others to help her, believing instead that she was a victim to her situation.
I asked her if, after taking the actions we talked about to get some help around her father’s care, she would be able to grow her business at record speed again, the way she had previously. She said, “Absolutely. That’s a no brainer. I’ll do exactly what you said by next week. Wow, I never realized that I deserve this.”
Here’s what I want you to get from these two stories.
Many people are living in a construct where they believe that things happen to them, in business or in life. They believe that life is the way it is and that they can’t control it, so they might as well resign themselves to their current reality.
NO. I am fundamentally opposed to this idea.
How we respond to any particular situation dictates the outcomes we experience, positively or negatively.
I am here today, reminding you that you always have a different choice. And that this choice is to see things through a different lens.
A lens of empowerment, personal responsibility and a positive expectation that everything is happening for you. For your growth, evolution and transformation.
The way that you respond to adversity and the choices that you make every day about how you are spending your precious resources are directly correlated to the results that you will have in your life.
When you begin to make choices from a place of self-esteem, self-worth, personal responsibility and a little bit of hustle, I promise you….
…everything changes.
You game?
Sometimes it’s good to hustle,
Fabienne
P.S. Go ahead and share this quote:
